


Wish You Were Here

by Demired_Piscean



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Beast Wars
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Going Home, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Optimus Misses His Boyfriend, Post-Canon, Reflection, Reminiscing, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:53:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29460072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demired_Piscean/pseuds/Demired_Piscean
Summary: The survivors aboard the shuttle celebrated their victory in the Beast Wars. Optimus couldn't help but wonder how Dinobot would fit into this scenario.
Relationships: Dinobot II/Optimus Primal, Dinobot/Optimus Primal
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13
Collections: Doop Week 2021





	Wish You Were Here

**Author's Note:**

> ugh i totally meant to publish this earlier but. guess who can't get shit done unless it's the wee hours of the morning lmao. and of all the doop pieces i had to finish it just had to be the sad one  
> anyway happy (belated) end of doop week :)

Optimus Primal lost track of when he began drowning out his crew’s congratulatory chatter. He should’ve been rejoicing with them; they had a lot to celebrate.

Earlier he announced the war’s end and applauded his team for the actions they took to secure their victory, not excluding the sacrifices made by their fallen. Speaking on behalf of everyone in the Autobot shuttle, he could precisely articulate their collective catharsis. But now he didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t sour the mood. There was no need to make them suffer even more, considering what the war had done to all of them. If he were to contribute to their conversations, what impact would he make?

He supposed he didn’t need to say anything more about their time on prehistoric Earth. It wasn’t completely lined with death and violence -- there were many moments shared with his crewmates that he would cherish forever -- but he found it wisest to let his team process the good and bad on their own. Primus knows how they would have reacted if he re-opened any mending wounds. 

It would’ve been hypocritical of him to babble on about the Beast Wars like that, anyway. He was no less vulnerable to psychological damage than they were, and he felt especially beaten at this moment. Amidst light chuckling and soft smiles, he blankly stared into the view from one of the shuttle’s windows. All he could think about were the Maximals who didn’t make it to the end: Tigatron, Airazor, Depth Charge, Dinobot. 

Dinobot. 

His death still weighed Optimus down as if the _Nemesis_ itself was crushing his body into billions of pieces in a sad attempt to recreate the transwarp cell explosion that briefly killed him. He always told himself that he had properly grieved the Predacon turncoat’s passing. That the reason why nighttime terrors left him alone was because he was confident in letting him go. He told himself this, told himself that… was he giving himself nothing more than lip service?

Whatever he was doing with himself, he wasn’t sure. Normally this sentiment wouldn’t frighten him. But he wasn’t innovating ways to take out Megatron and his troops, now, was he? No, this was entirely a matter between himself and a dead warrior.

A dead warrior whom he could’ve saved today. Well, Dinobot -- technically Dinobot II -- explicitly said he didn’t want to be saved, but Optimus couldn’t help wonder what would’ve happened if he snatched him from the _Nemesis_ destruction and brought him along on the shuttle. They might have spent a late night catching up on what had occurred between his death and the moment Rampage’s spark was extinguished. Or when Megatron revived him, depending on whether he was aware of his actions under Precadon control. The two of them would tuck themselves away in a back room, with no bot around to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Hopefully that bot wouldn’t be Rattrap. He treasured him for his wit and loyalty to the Maximal cause, but trusting him to keep his mouth shut about this kind of thing? That was something he didn’t want to think about handling. Especially considering Dinobot was in the picture.

Geez, did those two bicker on a regular basis. Their insults became routine, to the point where he sometimes couldn’t tell whether or not they were being serious. A part of him missed that banter despite how vicious they became after Dinobot’s temporary defection. He was certain Rattrap felt the same, even if he wouldn’t outright admit it. The wartime climate made their exchanges harsher, more ill-willed, but now that it was all over? What of the nature of their fiery friendship?

Optimus imagines they would set their grievances aside -- not that they didn’t start doing so in the war’s later half, but they would make further progress. Their back-and-forth would be more openly playful. Nobody (specifically him and Rhinox) would need to break them up before a physical fight could break out. While he doubted their silly nicknames would go away, the jabs at each other’s cultural differences wouldn’t stay.

Dinobot would slyly curl his tail around him as the banter played out, pull him closer so that their bodies would touch. Any semblance of subtlety? Thrown in the scrapheap. If Rattrap could get distracted by their PDA and shift his insults there, it was a win in Dinobot’s book. He’d throw in a kiss for good measure, too.

 _Primus._ What was he doing? Optimus had to snap out of it. He was supposed to be living in the moment, setting a prime example for his fellow Maximals. His imagination was not made to produce dozens of “what-if” scenarios and stick them to his processor like magnets. Lamenting over a lover like this… He thought only Silverbolt was capable of this. He thought Dinobot was the designated Team Brooder. Alas he proved himself increasingly more incorrect; the closer the shuttle got to Cybertron, the more intensely he fell into his own thoughts. 

Cybertron. He liked to think he and Dinobot could’ve shared a future together. What would they do, then? Where would they live, travel, work, die? What kind of life could they cultivate together?

He wasn’t sure. He hadn’t peered this deeply into the future and didn’t plan on it anytime soon. Thank the Primes for that. Whatever he and Dinobot could’ve been, if they only had more time together, would never come to fruition. But he should’ve been prepared for a life without him the moment he joined the Maximal ranks. He failed -- both as a leader and a significant other -- to consider the consequences of his passing. How ironic that he was so cemented in the present while his lover was still alive, yet _now_ he was doing the prepping. A different type of preparation, but an act of looking ahead regardless.

All he had planned was how he would support Dinobot back on Cybertron. Ever since he first brought up the treatment he would receive upon returning to their home planet, he vowed that he would stop at nothing to guarantee he wouldn’t live his life as a prisoner or torture subject. He didn’t deserve the least bit of suffering Megatron was going to endure when they reached home.

Dinobot thought it was a ridiculous sentiment, back when Optimus first made that promise. He claimed to not deserve such a leisurely lifestyle, and he couldn’t comprehend his willingness to defend him so passionately. Why was he so adamant on supporting him like this, despite how much wrong he had done in his life? Dinobot couldn’t process it. But Optimus had told him that his positive traits far exceeded his negatives, that nobody was meant to be perfect. Sure, owning up to his mistakes was an excellent display of maturity, but legal punishment should never have been his first option, considering how little he contributed overall to Megatron’s crimes. Whatever it took to stop Cybertron from seeing his lover as a criminal, he would do it, no questions asked. He trusted him with every fibre of his being and (eventually, maybe) vice versa.

That night, he held Dinobot’s claw with one hand and rested the other on his shoulder. Their teary-eyed gazes locked into each other. Words no longer necessary. His hand slid from his shoulder to the neck. The claws wrapped around him more firmly. Both gorilla and raptor pressed their bodies against one another and leaned into each other and tilted their heads ever so slightly and--

“You okay, Big Bot?”

Optimus jolted from the sudden voice. He relaxed once he looked down to see Cheetor, the young bot’s hand brushing his forearm. It’s then that he realizes how long he had spent brooding over his deceased partner. Primus, was he starting to become him? He mentally thanked Rhinox for driving the Ark shuttle back home. Had he been in his position, all this turbulence rattling his processor might’ve steered them off-course from Cybertron.

“I’m feeling fine,” he assures him with a weak smile, “just a little worn out from today.”

“Are you sure? I know you just had that big fight with Megatron, but you seem awfully quiet. If he did something else to you I’ll go outside and turn his head into scrap!”

“Cheetor, I appreciate the enthusiasm but that won’t be necessary. He’d probably prefer your violence to the kind of punishment he’ll get on Cybertron. But I feel completely fine. No need to worry.”

Though the inquisitive look on his face begged for an honest answer, Cheetor didn’t press him any further. He left his leader alone, but not without suggesting he get some rest. Not long afterwards, Optimus popped the bubble of silence within the shuttle. 

“I’m turning in. If anyone needs me I’ll be in the back room.”

Cheetor was no fool. He knew Optimus lied to him. Later in the night, while most of the other Maximals were not paying attention to him, he crept by the back room’s door and heard the sounds of a bot who had cloaked his grief for far too long.

**Author's Note:**

> (optimus voice) i miss my wife, tails. i miss her a lot. i'll be back
> 
> i don't really remember the shuttle's interior so let's just pretend there's at least one room in the back where optimus's oversized transmetal 2 body can fit


End file.
